To me the greatest appeal of gaining supernatural powers is the endless sexual possibilities that opens up
laediawo
3 March 2010 | 12:37 AM CST
It would be pretty awesome to have healing powers crossed with the ability to manipualte matter so I could use my powers to safely amputate and cauterize my gf's limbs and have all kinds of crazy amputee sex with her (it's really annoying how "amputee porn" is something of a porn cliche yet it is nearly IMPOSSIBLE to find online and when you do it's either greasy poorly lit 70's porn or on a specialty site that costs 50 bucks a month). Give her some scuba gear and mount her so that it's like I'm a mouse riding a cork on the ocean, grab an oar and wear a captains hat and pretend I am an intrepid explorer.
Of course if the coast guard apprehended me and asked me what the fuck I was doing I could do the whole Jedi mind trick "move along, this is completely normal consensual activity" thing and they'd salute and send me on my merry way.
When we reached shore I could pogo stick home and then I'd reattach her limbs and she'd cuddle up on the sofa with me as we watched the directors cut of Blade Runner.
This, btw, on a post about Richard Kelley's horrible piece of horribleness The Box from Nathan Rabin's brilliant series "My Year of Flops".
Have you ever seen the movie boxing helena? Now that is some crazy shit about amputee's. Maybe that guy should watch it.
ReplyDeleteyeah, that was made by David Lynch's daughter.
ReplyDelete